It seems that our Christian walk involves a succession of God-orchestrated events whereby the Lord is teaching us something, growing us in a certain area, trying to conform us a little bit more into the image of His Son.
I am sure we have all had the experience where no matter what scripture we read, or what sermon/podcast/song we listen to, if we truly let Him, the Holy Spirit brings it back around to the “lesson” that the Lord is impressing on us at that time.
For me and my double-edged sword personality trait of “perfectionism” the most abhorred and feared thing in life is…..FAILURE!!! How horrible it is (for me) to fail, but exponentially worse, how horrible it is for OTHERS to see me fail!
As we journey with my pastor, David Landrith, through a series entitled, “Confession”, we are taking an in-depth look at Psalm 51. In my quiet time today, the accompanying Devotional Guide asked us to read Psalm 51:6….”Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom I the inmost place”. Now, I am a complete word-lover. I love words and especially when the Bible is concerned, want to know the exact meaning (Hebrew or Greek) of that word. So I started looking up “truth” and “ teach me wisdom”. For all of you word freaks here are the Hebrew meanings (everyone else, just skip this part!) truth-571 ‘emeth – which means firmness, faithfulness, reliability. I was like….great…okay so what does “firmness” mean (all I could think about was, it is the opposite of the flabbiness of old age, and I was CERTAIN that was not what the Lord had in mind here with this word!) So I looked deeper…firmness means – unyielding, firmly fixed in place, unalterable. Hence…”Surely you desire unyieldedness to sin in my inner parts” or “Surely you desire faithfulness to You and Your Word in my inner parts”.
Next, I got stuck on “teach” and this is where the Lord/Holy Spirit really began to speak to me. Hebrew for “teach” (KJV “know”) is-3045 yada’ – to know, learn to know, to know by experience, to perceive and see, find out and discern.
Now someone can teach me something ALL day, but the responsibility lies soely on my shoulders to be self-disciplined enough to LEARN it. This involves risk. Risking the FAILURE of not learning it correctly or sufficiently enough. Hence, to “know” by experience. There are some things (I personally believe MOST things) that can only be learned by experiencing them, by trial and error and oftentimes by failure. However, when I am met with failure, I have two options. 1) Give Up -OR- 2) LEARN from it! I can either be paralyzed by failure or energized by it! Now for those wonderful people who are laid back and non-worriers I am SURE you are energized by failure. But for us “perfectionist” types, it is a battle, a struggle, and a choice we have to make to convince ourselves that failure can actually be a good thing in the end.
John Ortberg wrote one of my favorite books of ALL times, “If You Want To Walk On Water You Have To Get Out Of The Boat”. In it he says:
- You were made for something more than merely avoiding failure. (pg.17)
- Failure is not an event, but rather a judgment about an event. (pg.22)
- Failure is an indispensable, irreplaceable part of learning and growth…failure does not shape you; the way you RESPOND to failure shapes you. (pg 24)
So what did I learn from my time with the Lord this morning? The same thing He has been impressing on me for months and months (and years and years). The experiences of life are varied and vast. There is joy and pain, there is excitement and fear, and…as long as we are alive…there is growth. Ortberg says, “The choice to grow is the choice for the constant recurrence of fear. You’ve got to get out of the boat a little every day. The fear will NEVER go away. Why? Because each time I want to grow, it will involve going into new territory, taking on new challenges. And each time I do that, I will experience fear again. The fear will never go away as long as I continue to grow. Isn’t that great news? Now you can give up trying to make fear go away. Fear and growth go together.” (pg 21)
It is a conscious choice to choose to learn from our fears and failures. How do we do that? By getting the Word inside of us. He teaches us that we are what we think. If we listen to our “self” and/or the enemy condemning us, we will believe the lies. However, if we choose to believe the Truth of His Word and know that we are “more than conquers”, then failure is merely a stepping-stone to infinite contentment.
CU ><>
9-22-09
